Social media has lifted a lot of weight off starting a relationship or handling your crush. For a guy stalking his crush on social media and wondering how to easily slide into her DM, worry no more, the internet has got you covered. There are plenty of tips for sliding into a girl’s DM, that can help you achieve foolproof conversation, flirtation or hook up.

Before social media had its stand, starting a relationship wasn’t a lot of fun, especially for the shy types. The process was long, and could make a guy vow never to approach a girl again nor ask someone out. Yes, everything has its advantages and disadvantages, and this is one of the advantages of social media. So, if your concern is about sliding into your girl’s DMs, but you don’t want to appear or feel too invasive or creepy, that’s a good feeling, at least it shows how sane and sensitive you are and I bet your crush will appreciate those virtues. The key to sliding into a girl’s DM and get her interests flying, is to keep things casual, play it cool, and don’t get too forward.

What does sliding into a girl’s DM really mean?

What is your understanding of sliding into a girl’s DM? Let me take a few seconds to break it down for you. DM is a social media slang for direct message. Slide means to move smoothly on a surface, without losing your balance. To slide into a girl’s DM, mean to send a girl a private message on social media, often to initiate or extend romantic contact, with some form of boldness, without coming off weird or creepy, but maintaining your cool.

By doing this, you’re initiating contact and having the first conversation.  You don’t use the word ‘slide’, if you are chatting up an old friend or someone you have had conversation with before, that will be just chatting or rather a continuation of chat with the person. The word slide, is used when you are about initiating a first conversation, with someone, you have not met or someone, you have never had conversation with.

It is you talking to someone privately and directly for the very first time. From there, you hope that you will get to know them better, with more messages batt back and forth. This, if not properly handled, can come off shady and creepy, I mean I have list of messages from guys on my DM that I never looked at for the second time, I have some that I never even opened their message to finish the content.

How to slide into a girl’s DM and get a good reply

Sliding into someone’s DM is a bold move yeah, and it requires some confidence. Using the word some confidence, evidently shows that, you need to strike the right balance of confidence more importantly.  You also need a plan; you need to know what you are doing. Don’t be like most people who slide into DMs without knowing what they want and not having mapped out plans. First, it is annoying and creepy.

Remember, a direct message or DM is an unsolicited message. Nobody sent you, you sent yourself, you are your own boss here. Your recipient is probably not aware of your existence and never asked you to message them, so bear it in mind, they owe you nothing. Not a greeting, not a response.

So, to avoid being shady and to give yourself a real chance at making a connection with someone through their DMs, you need to master these 7 tips of how to slide into a girl’s DM, get her interest and a good response.

1. Keep it real
Be relaxed and original, avoid copy and paste messages, they may sound funny and intelligent, but dude, we have read it almost on every timeline. Don’t also come with the everyday questions like, asking; hey, how are you? how was your day? It is not your business, at least not yet. If you want to get a girl’s attention for the first time, you have to work harder. Put some clever thinking forward. It shows how fun and exciting you will be and that’s how to draw a girl’s attention.

We’re not likely to reply to someone who starts with a message that’s sexual or talking about the other person’s physical appearance, even if it is a sincere compliment, it is still a wrong move. Starting with something physical, sexual, or overtly forward in any way implies that you’re more interested in hooking up, than in getting to know the person. And this is usually considered a big turnoff or a red flag. In fact, in my case, I will check your name and make sure, never to read your messages next time, that is if I am in a good mood, but if otherwise, I will automatically block you.

So, if you’re genuinely looking to make a real romantic connection with someone from sliding into their DMs, steer clear of any heavy flirtation right.

Instead, think of a great conversation starter, that will give her good reason to want to respond. Check her recent update, and start a conversation with that. Don’t go criticizing the point she made on her feed. A compliment or acknowledgement there is good. Or, ask a question, something about the world or the trends!

Be genuine and send messages that are tailored to the person you’re speaking to, it shows that you have done your research, and your interest is real. Just keep it light, short, and sweet. Come up with something original yet funny and intelligent, or stand the chance of being ignored, deleted, or blocked.

2. Proof Read Your Message
Before you hit the send button, find out if there is any mistake you need to correct. It is important. Me, for example, won’t have time correcting your spellings, when there are bunch of other messages waiting for my attention. Girls are very particularly created and they can judge you based on the smallest of mistakes you make. Your spelling impression can give you in or away. Just same way, you would go over your assignment, before submitting to your teacher, ensure that your DMs are flawless, from grammar to the coherence. Yes, we are that special.

However, I am not asking that you start trying to impress her with your grammar, because, if you do, there is high tendency that you will come off as proud and boastful. The idea is that, you are trying to prove that you are responsible and that you pay attention to details. Only send a message when you are sure that you’ve got the game right.

3. Do A Little Research
Don’t just slide into a girl’s DM blindly, without doing your homework and doing it well. This is not a ‘stalk her proposal’, rather it’s always a great idea to know a thing or two about your intending girl. Do a quick background check on her. Check out her feed, what she is into, what she always has interest on, what is her most recent update? Having some sort of topic gives you a much better chance at a response than a rejection. 

This means when you are about to slide into her DM as a first timer, you can use something you’ve read, something she’s interested in. So, if there is a chance, you two have something in common, that’s a good conversation starter. It will grab her interests and it starts a conversation.

4. Choose Your Time Of Day Carefully
Your timing is important, when you are thinking on how to slide into a girl’s DMs and grab her attention. A girl’s inbox can range from an empty desert to an overcrowded arena. Most girls have countless suitors trying to have their way into her DM, so most times, she will have a lot of messages to reply and so you cannot coerce her to answer your DMs immediately. If you want to come on strong, make sure that you pay attention to your timing.

For instance, you observe her to know when she will upload a photo to her feed and then slide into her DM privately to comment about it rather than comment publicly. Now, that’s an obvious good conversation starter you have there. At this point, she clearly has her phone in her hand, and because we’re all egocentric in nature, we love receiving messages about ourselves and great compliments that matter. It works

The timing of a guy’s message can say a lot.

5. The Emoji Overload
It is obvious, that our attention spans are shorter than ever nowadays, but it is not a justification for all the emojis. It is you coming on too strong, sit down and relax. It’s called sliding into DMs, which means doing it in a nonchalant way. Emojis, memes, gifs and all the other Internet-based animated pictures you come across can be saved for when you’re actually having a two-way conversation and you’re already getting to know each other.

A lot of emojis will make you appear childish and unserious. I’d say, you don’t have or know what to say. And I won’t choose to kill my time with someone who is unsure of what he wants from me.

6. Maintain A Minimum Thirst
You would look so desperate and creepy sending her ‘good morning sugar’ message every day. She will not only know it’s a copy paste, she will also think you are just jobless. Sending her same message every time, goes to mean that, you are actually not making any effort to know her.  I’d say that, you use same message on every other girl out there, so there is nothing special about it. To make her notice you, you have to be unique because there are many others trying to get her attention. Keep your thirst to a minimum level, be cool, but not boring, make an effort but don’t appear desperate. Forget about generic subtleties and use exceptional vibes, but don’t say anything, you wouldn’t be able to walk up to her and say to her face. Don’t also assume you understand a girl’s intention for posting a sexy picture of herself, and you go all flirtatious on your first conversation. Even if you’re sure the person is inviting flirtatious attention, keep it cool and respectful instead of busting in, boner blazing. Have a good conversation and maintain a casual conversation.

7. Move One If and When There Is No Reply
If you don’t get a reply within an hour or so, do not, send another one! Let it be! No one owes you anything, and just because you send a message, even a really great message, does not mean you will get a reply. You have to be responsible enough to be okay with it. In fact, a no reply is itself a reply. Harassing them if and when they don’t respond to you, is the most degrading thing you can do to yourself. The thing you have to remember is that some people just aren’t going to be interested, and it doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with you.

So, shoot your shot when you can, if it catches you target fine, but if not, don’t become overly persistent. It is annoying. My advice is that, you don’t go into it with high hopes or expectations. If you don’t hear back or you get rejected, let it go. Eventually, you’ll meet someone who feels like a perfect fit for you, whether through a DM or physical.

However, you’re definitely not going to get there by bugging people who aren’t. There are so many things that get people interested or attracted to each other, and it is not something you can force.