You are stuck, you know something has changed for no good in your relationship, and you are probably wondering how to make your boyfriend love and value you the more. It was never like this from the onset. He used to crave your voice now and again; he used to miss your absence and show that he misses you.
He couldn’t wait to get your opinion about his plans or decisions before, but right now, you know for sure something is changed. There is an obvious difference.
He ignores your calls, chats and text messages, he seems not to care what you think anymore, he doesn’t even remember your special days, he doesn’t even recognize your efforts and time. You feel he is just taking you for granted, his commitment to you is on the decrease and you are wondering what happened.
Well, these are signs that your boyfriend has stopped seeing your importance. No woman or man wants that experience in their relationship. It can be painful and soul-crushing, you need to do something to bring back the spark in his eyes, you need to wake him up and make him love and value you the more.
Generally, many relationships get to that point where people forget they need to keep wooing and fighting for one another because they are so sure of their feelings towards each other. They feel they have each other to themselves.
It is easy and most times normal to get used to having someone next to us, like they are part of us and there is no way we can lose that part. This is where many relationships get it wrong. A healthy relationship requires both sides to keep flirting, wooing and working together so the relationship will thrive.
We all deserve to be given attention when we need it, we need to feel appreciated, seen, loved and wanted at every point in our relationships. Feeling ignored, neglected, unwanted and most of all, not appreciated are not the most exciting things to feel in a relationship, especially if we truly care about our significant other.
Every woman deserves to be treated with respect, and if you have stopped getting the respect, attention, love, and value you used to get from your boyfriend, you need to press some buttons to make that happen again. Breaking up with him is the last thing that should be on your mind right now. You might want to try first to make your boyfriend love and value you the more, make him realize your importance as his girlfriend and of course he might just be losing you gradually.
Here are 8 ways to make your boyfriend love and value you the more ways for you to do so:
1. Know Your Worth.
To start with, people see you the way you see yourself. Place a huge value on yourself. You need to know what you deserve, to know when you are not getting exactly that. You deserve to be loved, respected, cared for, listened to, adhered to, given attention when necessary, and valued by your partner. You are unique, all of us are, don’t take that for granted.
At no point in your relationship should you ever appear like you no longer have an option or a plan B. Remember, you chose him, you were not tied to him. The very minute you give a man the idea that you don’t have other options, he will most likely start taking you for granted, he will always be pushing boundaries and demand for things to always go his way.
Don’t ever make a man feel you need him more than he needs you, else he will start thinking he is doing you a favor by staying with you. It is a relationship, if there is any favor anywhere, you both are in it together.
You should always make it glaring to your boyfriend that you are with him by your choice, not because you lack options or offers, nor because of any commitment.
Take care of yourself, dress yourself up most of the time, pamper yourself, socialize with other people. Go on girl, achieve some height for yourself, it feels good to do things on your own for yourself.
Hence, value yourself. Don’t let your boyfriend keep making you feel that you are not someone important.
You don’t need to challenge his ego as a man, but part of what it means to place value on your worth is standing up to him when he disrespects you and letting him know that you are hereby choice, by no means are you trapped here.
Don’t forget that you are special. You are amazing. If for anything, he is lucky to have you, so he should treasure you just as much as you treasure him.
2. Talk to Him.
Honest communication is always the key to a good and healthy relationship. If you start feeling any different than it was from the beginning if you feel his love and value for you are on the decrease, speak up. He is also human and a man too. He may be battling with something that may be distracting him at the moment, he may be feeling the same way as you are.
Be honest about what and how you feel. Express your pain. Be specific but be positive. Remember, it is not a fight, even though you are hurting. You are talking about it because you still believe in the relationship and you want to put in your best effort to make it work, You want to stay honest with him and you are ready to remedy the relationship.
Bring him on a memory trip that would remind him of how you two started and the journey so far. If he keeps on taking you for granted, maybe it’s time you get to the third option.
3. Show Appreciation
Don’t focus on the negative only while you are talking to him. You will be talking about a lot of negative things, which will stir up negative emotions, but deliberately talk about a few things you are proud of. Just like you need to feel appreciated and loved, he needs that, too. As you expect him to work on the things you talked to him about, work on how you appraise and appreciate him. But instead of the regular things you compliment him on, try to play it differently this time.
Appreciate his effort on a concluded project, appreciate his love and concern for others, appreciate his dedication to his family and how you love all of these qualities about your man. Tell him how you can’t wait to have some time alone with him so you can enjoy his great body.
Show him that he’s appreciated, that there’s more than one reason you decided to give yourself to him.
Say ‘thank you’ every once in a while because we get so used to things that people do for us that we start taking them for granted. Maybe he feels like he is being taken for granted and that is the reason he is also pulling away.
4. Act What You Feel
If you discover that talking to him about how you feel does not give you the change you desire, you may need to start acting what you feel. To make him feel the weight of the issue, let your actions speak to him.
First, you have to accept the fact that there is no easy way to show your boyfriend that he is losing you. However, start by creating a little distance. Start undoing what you used to do. Don’t call most of the time, when he calls, take the call when you want to. Don’t always follow what he says. Take up a new hobby, meet new people. He deserves a cold shoulder, it will make him realize how serious you are about the issue. Don’t cancel your plans to hang out with him, instead give him another date option at your time.
Remember, if he loves you, he will not want to lose you, he will fight for your love. He will make it up to you. Show him that he now has to fight to get your attention, that you are not a dummy who just waits at the master’s command. You are a person who needs to feel wanted.
No matter how difficult it feels to distance yourself from your emotional significant other, if you want to get him to love and value you the more, you have to tame yourself to show him that you have a life aside from him.
5. Put Yourself First And Make It Obvious
It is easier for women to lose themselves in a relationship, especially a love relationship because they are natural nurturers. It is time to find yourself again.
Confidence is never something you are gifted to by someone, it is something you consciously cultivate and deliberate work hard to keep it. It is also very easy to lose. If you have it or if you’re working hard to keep it, show it off.
Don’t continue to neglect yourself just to satisfy and keep him happy, that is not how to maintain a healthy relationship. Don’t trade your happiness and sense of worth for a relationship. There is no satisfaction in that.
He has been so used to having you around, cooking and taking care of him and his house that he does not need to take care of himself or the relationship because he strongly believes that you will there to do them. It is time to show him that you will no longer do them.
Prioritize yourself and make him understand why that is necessary. Stop respecting his wishes if he doesn’t respect yours.
What could go wrong if you show him that you’re still that strong and independent woman he fell in love with?
Believe in yourself, trust your confidence once again. If it feels right, do it. If he loves you, he will fight for your love all over.
6. Moderate Your Tolerance
Are you always the first to initiate peace with him every time you fight? Are you always the one who says sorry even when he is supposed to say sorry? It is time to limit those extras. He might just be too used to seeing you being extra nice to him, going the extra mile for him and being head over heels in love with him that he no longer sees how important your role is in his life. If you are too tolerant of the things he does, even if you don’t like them, then he will think that he is not doing anything wrong at all. It won’t get any better if you pretend that it is not there. You will make him think that he has full control over things and you, it will be too easy for him to stop seeing your importance.
Girlfriend, moderate your tolerance. Limit the things you take from him and do for him. Stand your ground sometimes.
Don’t continue to make excuses for him every time he messes up and hurts you, you are only encouraging him to take you for granted. Know when to let him do certain things, and know when not to let him.
It will either make him love and value you the more or he may just snap and leave. Either, your sanity is much more important.
You will get the man you deserve or get rid of the one you don’t.
7. Achieve Something Great
One of the effective ways to make your boyfriend love and value you the more is to show him how strong and independent you are. Don’t just talk, do and do it for yourself. Show him what you can still do, be and achieve on your own. You can start with mundane things. Eat alone, See a movie alone, travel alone, do those exciting little things that couple do together and be happy doing them.
Show him that he is not the only source of happiness in your life. It is such a wonderful feeling to accomplish something worthwhile that you have set your mind to. So by all means go and find the dream career, pick a skill and learn, engage your hobby to a serious talent. Go back to what makes you happy, find it again. Find your passions, fuel it. Invest in something that gives your heart joy and fulfillment.
8. Make Him Work Harder When He Comes Back To You
Men love to chase, to hunt to work hard to earn the price. Let the man chase you, he will respect you when he is the one that came for you. No woman should be chasing a man. Make him come to you. Don’t nag him to come to you, don’t nag him for his attention, make him want you.
Men are natural hunters. Every man wants to feel as if he had to work to win over one particular woman. The more of a challenge she presented, the more interested he was.
If he won’t make any move to come to commit to you and that is what you want then you must show him, don’t tell him that the old relationship is outdated and that if he wants your affection again, he has to work for it all over again. Don’t just give him a free pass to go right back to the way things were. When you cave in so easily, you depreciate your value in his eyes. Let him know you will move on.
Men are natural hunters. So he will enjoy a bit of a chase and respect you for standing firm in your values and independence.