Why is he texting me? At some point in a girl’s life, she has to pause and ask herself few questions; what is really happening, why am I feeling alone on this? Why is he texting me and yet doesn’t seem to want me? You can feel it, or probably he has even confirmed it to you that you are not his type, but yet he texts you.
Men sometimes make some moves that are not that easy to explain. They often enjoy being wanted or needed. Texting you even though they said or showed in some way that they are not interested, or that you do not fall into that category of their type of women.
Relationship between the opposite sex, have never been an easy feat, mostly because we are different genders, not to mention different background, upbringing, religion and culture. Vague texting can make things even more complicated.
Women are more emotional than their male counterpart, so we often tend to overanalyze the texts we get from the man we like consciously or unconsciously, because we are wired just like that. We tend to make them more relevant than they really are.
On the other hand, men are more logical than the female folks, so they bluntly say what they mean.
However, some texting situations tend to string us along. They appear not to be interested, or they even say they are not interested, but they keep texting you. Men playing with ambiguous texts can really drive girls insane.
You know that instant, when you think, his problem is his guts, or he is waiting for the right moment and you have waited patiently for weeks or months, playing the good girl-friendship and just waiting, then puffs!, your girl friends encourage that you open up with him, take the horse by the horn and say something, then you do and all you get is the ‘ I am sorry, I thought you understood that we are just friends, or I don’t like you in that way or I am not ready for something serious and finally, it’s not you, it’s me excuses.
What do you do? I say ‘MOVE ON’ and don’t make such mistake again.
Yes, he is texting you but he is ‘not interested in you’ scenario is possible. These 13 reasons below will try to simplify the disturbing question “Why is he texting me if he’s not interested?”
1. You have been friend zoned
No one enjoys this place, especially if you already have your hopes set on high heels. It appears you have been put there. He texts you in search of a listening ear. I know that feeling, when he comes with topics, like an ex, secret admirer, crush, how to win a girl’s heart, current or intending girlfriend, even though, you don’t want to answer, you just can’t save yourself from the questions, because you are a nice good girl.
So, you probably play a very good friend and a very good listener, so he enjoys texting you and spending time with you. The texts between the two of you might even be more intimate than with other mutual friends. He can confide in you things that are even way too personal. However, with all these, he always refers to you as a friend, never as something more.
Yet, he is holding you so close and doesn’t want to let you go, while you my girl, you are hurting and wishing for something more, but he is not behaving like somebody that has anything more than friendship in mind. MOVE ON.
2. Esteem Boast
Men are prone to seek approval from their friends. It probably does a lot for their ego. To show off a lot of fine girls in their space and you happen to be one among many of the women that make him look good in front of his friends.
They use you to improve their self esteem and the image of themselves as well He wants to be such a badass that he can have any girl he wants. Or he wants his friends to think that. Such a show-off!
That’s why he is keeping you. Not committing but using you to form. Babe, take a walk. Trust me, you deserve much more.
3. You Are Simply Fantasizing
While texting with someone, you can form emotional attachments and really start to care for the other person. If nothing comes out of it, you can get severely hurt.
In one of his numerous texts, he said bluntly that he is not looking for anything serious right now. You are just hooked on the words ‘right now’, hoping that things will change in the future.
It’s time to stop dreaming and wake up to reality. His opinion may not to change. At least, he was honest enough to have told you what he really wants. There is nothing more that may come off it.
Stop wasting your time hoping that he will have a change of heart, when he sees how good and nice a girl you are and suddenly be ready for a relationship.
He told you what he wants. Now it’s your time to choose if you want something casual or to end the texting situation-ship completely.
4. Just Flirting
For some guys, flirting is just a part of their makeup. They just can’t help it. They can’t avoid it. It makes them feel better, it comes naturally to them, simply put, it kind of complete them. They might be in a relationship or married, but they have the urge to be noticed by other women.
Even if they are just friends with you, they just find themselves exaggerating things and unintentionally lead you on.
However, keep in mind that authentic men don’t use texting as a medium to flirt, rather they use it to plan, something useful, like a date and have time to see you in person.
They prefer talking to you face to face rather than just texting. They appreciate you, and value your time. You’d rather save your time and energy for them.
5. You Are Just Another Backup Plan
Some guys are just like that. They don’t ever want to become stranded, so they keep second options. If things with another girl don’t work out, then you are his next option or even one of his next options. Guess what? you are on his waiting list.
Don’t misunderstand me, he likes you, but not very much he, at least not yet. If he did, he would have locked it down and asked you to date him.
The signs that will tip you off for sure if you are his backup plan or not are to watch exactly what he does. The signs will be very glaring: He sends texts from time to time and not on a regular basis; he never has time to hang out when you want, literally never, so he comes by when it’s the most convenient for him; you notice his texts log is long and filled with female names when you glance at his phone while you are hanging out.
Keeping you on the waiting list like this is actually a dump move. You are worth so much more, and you need to be somebody’s first option and only choice. Don’t go for anything less.
6. He Is Bored
The bad side of texting is that somebody can misuse it. It’s that simple. Even though it really does sound crazy, some guys actually do things like texting you to manage their boredom. They have nothing better to do, and your number is conveniently still on his phone.
The first indicator of these kinds of texts is that it takes a long time for him to remember to text you again and he would probably forget what he said in his last text. It could take him weeks or even months, to send you another text.
He also might be giving you some stupid excuses as to why it took him so long for to text you, but he really misses your company. I hope, you don’t fall for that again.
7. He Is Lonely
Boredom is real, yet loneliness can be one of the major reasons why he keeps texting you even though he said or has shown in other ways that he is not interested. But, isn’t it a selfishness?
When he is lonely, he looks forward to you for comfort, to make him laugh, listen to him or just sit silently by his side. He gets to enjoy all these comforts and yet, doesn’t want a relationship with you. MOVE ON
If he’s texting you usually at night or on Sunday afternoons, Well, you’re one of those people for him that he uses to feel less lonely, He’s not interested in you, you are just perfect to fill his void.
Don’t let him patronize your good nature. You are not another charity organization. You don’t go around texting him when you feel all bored and lonely.
Everyone gets a little lonely, and when that happens, they usually turn to people who give them attention. Don’t let him make you that person for himself, if he is not interested in you. It’s not just fair.
8. You Are Just His Call Girl
You probably have thought you share something special, but he is just after one thing, and you sure know what. For one reason or another, you just chose to ignore your common sense.
It’s been said a million times over, that any man who reserves his texts till after dark is only looking to get you into bed. If he only texts you late at night out of the blue, he believes that he can always get your attention because you have a thing for him or even feelings for him.
Pay attention to what his texts hint at. Is it something that only points towards sex, like; Your booty looks great in those jeans, or he tells you what he will like to try in bed. That is his way of making his intention obvious.
If you were hoping for something more or that he will change over time and I’d suggest that you wake up and stay woke from that guy, because it is not happening. You are only his nighttime fun.
9. He Is A Bit Confused
He wants a relationship, but he is indecisive, he is afraid of getting too attached or scared of commitment, yet he doesn’t want to hurt you. He has some personal things to deal with, and he can’t commit to a relationship at this moment. He wants you in his life, but he can’t call you his girlfriend just yet.
Don’t make the mistake of going to him first, let him get back to you when he sorts out his thoughts. Possibly, give him some space to do just that. He might actually be into you, but he is confused, and he is buying himself time to figure things out.
However, that’s not a consolation to you. It’s not fair to keep you in emotional tempo. He can’t have you and not have you at the same time. Don’t allow him to drag you into near-syndrome relationship.
If he figures out what he wants and you haven’t moved on, fine. But he can’t expect you to just put your life on hold while he is taking his time, sorting his life out and dealing with his fears. It’s that simple.
10. He So Love The Attention You Are Giving Him.
We all love to be most wanted at some point in life. You know to be chased after by cute guys or babes. We often feel cool when people are competing for our attention, it is the same for the guy. He loves to feel wanted and admired. I mean he is also a human.
If an attractive girl is giving him attention, he’s not going to want it to stop. In fact, he craves it so badly that it’s almost like a big thing for him. He doesn’t necessarily have to be in a relationship with you or have anything physical with you. He is just good on the fact that you are making efforts to text even if all he does is just say ‘hi’.
If you suspect this is your scenario, the best thing you can do is to slow down, stop replying to his effortless texts with fun and engaging replies. Make sure you don’t overdo anything regardless of who sent the first text.
You also deserve the attention you are giving him, and if he’s not giving you the same attention, end the circle.
11. He Is Just Another Player
Some men are experts on stringing women along and playing mind games with them. He is just used to playing games with women, and you are not the exception. This might not necessarily mean that he may not be into you, but he is taking his time to get there.
He is probably not sure and wants to test his feelings first. He may also have other women on his plate or may want to be sure you are what he really wants.
He keeps texting because he wants you to be interested, but he never gives too much. He doesn’t text for days, and then he comes with sweet talk after a while or you might be constantly texting for a longer period, and all of a sudden he disappears.
Don’t get stuck into texting for a while. Make your conscious decision already.
12. He Finds You Interesting
You are fun to talk to, you have a great sense of humor, you make him laugh, and you always have some witty remarks, so he texts you. You’re funny and have a great personality, so why would he want to stop talking to you, he keeps the conversation flowing but not wanting more. He enjoys texting you. Hardly a day goes by without him initiating a conversation, but he never asks you out on a date, and he never texts about seeing you.
For some reason, he only wants a virtual relationship with you. Whatever it is, don’t allow this to continue for too long because you will get emotionally attached and get hurt in the process.
Texting on a regular basis, sharing thoughts and being there for each other, will definitely make you start catching unnecessary feelings for him. And this is not good at all, because you will get hurt badly.
13. He Is Freshly Out Of A Relationship
They haven’t been single in a while, and now, they’re flooded with new options to try out.
When a man gets out of a relationship, especially a long term one, he is not nearly ready to begin something new or make a real commitment.
If he’s just out of a relationship, don’t take his words seriously. He’s probably not ready for a commitment but wants to play the field. He will text you regularly, flatter you, and make you feel special, then go off and disappear for days.
Trust me on this one, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him and the mess he has in his head. This is why he’s texting you even though he’s not making a move. He first has to get his life back on track to be able to start something new.
He can use texts to keep you hooked and interested without giving you something real and tangible. By texting, he gives you just enough to hold on but never enough to feel safe and genuinely cared for.
These are just some things you need to be on the lookout for. Keep in mind though that some things can be misinterpreted, and real conversations can never be replaced with texts. Guys are usually upfront, and they use sentences without hidden meanings. So, don’t hold on to little parts of the message that say maybe, not now, we’ll see. You’ll be waiting in vain.
However, texting is generally a good thing. It should make things easier, not harder. It reduces stress, especially if you’ve just met a person and started to date. It gives you a chance to get to know them better before you start engaging into something more serious.