Sometimes we just don’t have time for commitments and all the hanky-panky that comes with keeping and maintaining a relationship and the best option becomes keeping friends with benefit.
Other times, all we want is just sex, but wouldn’t want to get it from random sex workers. We’d prefer just one person and again, friends with benefit is our best option. We just enjoy it, not committing and not expecting, but just get laid. We don’t want it to end, but it almost often has an end.
Obviously, there are lots of people out there who just don’t want to deal with everything that goes into having a serious relationship. They like keeping things casual, but they have needs that should be satisfied, meaning that they need someone to keep them warm at night and meet all their bedroom needs. So the concept of being friends with benefits was invented. Basically, people that are just friends with benefits have all the sexual benefits of having a significant other without all of the commitment, effort, and feelings. They practically just use each other to get lucky and nothing else. As long as both parties know this is the case, it’s perfectly fine. It is not at all a parasitic relationship; it is a mutual use. Though, the one thing that can be a bit of a struggle with these cases, however, is that sometimes, one party start catching feelings where it is totally not needed.
I get it, sex is not exactly one of the activities in your workout sessions, it is not just any physical exercise. Sex is an emotional activity, especially for the female folks, this somehow explains why, ladies get to be the first to start catching feelings for their fwb partners. No matter how you want to look at it, friends with benefit often have 3 definite ending; It either ends messy, ends well or transforms into something more beautiful.
I know what you’re going to say, I don’t have feelings for my fwb. Maybe you don’t. But you can’t say you know how the other person is feeling. It’s impossible to be intimate with someone all the time without developing feelings for them over time. This is one reason fwb is not supposed to be a long-lasting relationship. We’re human. It is extremely hard not to develop feelings for your fwb.
When someone develop feelings in fwb situationship, you shouldn’t be all surprised, rather have an honest discussion with the person, draw lines where necessary and end things amicably —that is if the feelings is not something you can reciprocate.
There are definite signs that will highlight when fwb is becoming something more. Below are 14 definite telltale signs that your FWB is developing feelings for you.
1. The Stare
You catch them watching you in a cute way, you can tell that the stare is not of one sizing you up, but that stare you feel right in your bones, when someone is super proud of having you as part of their live. It sends shivers down your bones. That’s when you know beyond a shadow of a doubt they are feeling like one happy camper having you in their life.
Body language is extremely important when understanding other people, and eye contact says, “I want you.” If you feel same way, then your option will be to either freeze the time or enjoy the moment and leave them in their zone with the “I really want you” stare.
is something different
You can’t say for sure what it is, but you cannot deny the fact that, something is different. Your friends with benefit doesn’t exactly feel same again. No matter how cool, they try to play it, their body and mind will be out of sync. Besides the aforementioned eye contact, the most obvious body signs that something is different in a good way or probably in a bad way, depending on your expectation, will be their body language, the things they normally do before without a care. These days, they are too careful with everything, they even get sweaty and shaky palms and want to stand close to you while speaking with you all the time.
3. They work hard to impress you
They want to enter your good book all of a sudden. They want you to see only the best of them so they will make an effort to do just that. Don’t fail to notice if they change their appearance a bit or start using new perfume. Due to the need to impress you, they unconsciously or consciously talk a lot about their strong points, their work success and all the things they are proud of, though not with a boastful intent.
It may not exactly be anything big but they wouldn’t want you to get the wrong impression about certain things. And when you talk to him, he will definitely use a definite stare and give you his undivided attention.
4. They want to
be there for you
Being friendly is one thing, but when you notice someone jumping to help you at every opportunity, that means something. Even when they are trying to chill, they will still be the first to offer assistance when you need it. They just love to help with things. It can range from helping you ease your mind by listening and giving advice to helping with fixing few electrical appliances, decoration, painting, or even car problems. They don’t mind getting their hands dirty or sitting for hours and listening to what you have to say.
In some cases, they might even come up with ways to make your life easier without you mentioning anything. Appreciate these sweet gestures, this is their way of encouraging you to learn to count on them to do whatever you bid.
jealousness and a bit protective
They can make jokes at your expense, though not being mean nor rude but they will always jump to your defense when someone else does same. They always want to make sure you got home well and that you are safe.
They are not really happy when you are in the company of other men or happy for you when you talk about relationship with others. Mostly because they haven’t acted upon their feelings and they are scared that somebody else will beat them to it. Their face gets pale and down, their behavior become awkward, they become uncomfortable and jealous.
6. They remember every
It takes genuine brainpower to remember details about a person’s life. Sometimes we even forget important dates about people we truly care about. So when they start filing away everything you tell them and can remember them without flinching, that’s a super telltale sign. They easily soak up your every word. They remember something you said randomly a few weeks ago that you have totally forgotten yourself. He will surprise you with some detail you randomly mentioned.
This will be demonstrated even more in ways like them wishing you success before an important interview, asking your plan for your mom’s birthday or asking how your aunt’s reunion party was. If you mention that your pet is feeling under the weather, they will remember to ask about it the next time they see you. These are not the kinds of things guys who are mere acquaintances will remember. When we like someone, we remember the details, even the most mundane and seemingly trivial.
7. They joke about being your
Teasing is a fun way to show affection without overtly showing affection. It’s endearing and fun, without being too obvious, so it’s the perfect choice for someone who is catching feelings for you to use on you.
They tease you, and referring to themselves as your man or woman is a slick way for them to get a peek at what your reaction would be. It feels like a safe option because they can hide behind the implication of a joke if it doesn’t go well. Monitor your response to this thoughtfully, because they are definitely searching you for clues. And even when you bring up another man/woman even playfully, they will be quick to dismiss it and change the subject. They do not want to risk you believing they are unavailable.
8. The hanging out is escalating
If all they still want is friends with benefits, they wouldn’t be doing all the extras with you. The two of you would just be meeting for booty calls and nothing else.
But when they like spending time with you, going to the movies, having dinner, or just catching the games, that’s a true telltale sign that they are catching feelings for you. If they didn’t like you, they wouldn’t give you the time of day.
9. The conversation is becoming way too personal
There are polite inquiries, and then there are investigative questions. Small talks can include some vague, everyday questions, and this doesn’t reveal much about anything. But if they are pressing you with a variety of questions about every part of your life, that means something. They have an avid curiosity and they want to know it all. They want to know everything there is to know about you. They will want to know where you stand about certain things, your likes and dislikes, your dating history and so on. When we like someone, we want to know their entire story front to back.
In return, they start confiding in you, they see you as someone whom they can trust, and that’s not a sign of friends with benefit. You can have small talk with anybody, but all the personal stuff you share with people that mean more. They want your opinion on things that are happening currently and have this inexplicable need to inform you about everything, every chance they get.
10. They pay compliments more
If your fwb has randomly shifted their compliments to things that are a little more personal, it may be time to consider adding an official title to your thing.
With fwb, you can expect nothing more than just surface level compliments like ‘you’re sexy’ or ‘that shirt looks great on you.’ Commenting on your appearance is a huge giveaway that they are paying plenty of attention. Only someone who has really been paying attention to you will be able to notice any new addition or small changes in your look and be cute enough to appreciate it.
When they fall in love, they begin to notice the way you laugh, tell stories, or the way you interact with others. Look out for compliments that show the person is paying attention to your quirks and personality traits. If they are making these kinds of comments, it is a way to reveal how much they care, which is not found in friends with benefit situationship.
They are not afraid of a little PDA
PDA is not something you do when you are with your friends with benefit, in fact, it was not there when you started out but these days, they love holding hands while walking down the street, and never make you feel like they are trying to push you to the side. While you are in the middle of a conversation, they subconsciously lean towards you. They also won’t miss the chance to put their hands on your shoulder or subtly touch your arm. Sometimes, try giving free kisses without reason, especially on the cheek or hug you for a bit longer than necessary every time you meet.
Their friend know you
FWB is not something we blab about with our friends. They are not a very important part of our arrangement. When everything reminds you of someone and you always get the urge to talk about them to your friends, it means the person is constantly on your mind. A friend who cannot shut up about one of their friends is exhibiting the signs of affections which go beyond friends with benefit.
You Spend Time Together In The Bedroom Without Having Sex
If you’ve gotten to the point with them when you’re just hanging out rather than having sex, then you may need to consider that things are moving in a different direction. It is important then, for you to reevaluate your relationship or arrangement and decide where to steer to.
14. Texting becomes regular
FWB usually have limited communication through text messages unless it involves setting up an encounter because friends with benefit is not supposed to last long. If the text messages with your fwb have started to increase, you may be moving toward a real relationship. The urge to stay connected with each other is natural if they are feelings something special for you. Increase in messages, especially where the contents are more than just sexual arrangements.