Look, I get it. Understanding women seem a difficult chore you’d never get. I mean you didn’t come with a guidebook for all this stuff. You are probably sweaty, seating face to face with her and stuttering about a topic you thought she would like but you’re becoming less and less confident. You are wondering what you must do in your quest to understanding women. 

At this point, you’re wondering if you’ve spent the last one hour talking to yourself – understanding women is a maze I’d never figure! You’re probably thinking she’s not interested in you. I mean why should she be? You’re this or you’re not that. Or worse, you think she’s lucky to be with you,  yet she’s yawned three times in the past twenty minutes. I don’t know where you come from, but in my book when a lady yawns up to three times in minutes, you need to check yourself.

Well, hold on to your glasses boys, because here’s something you’re not going to believe: women aren’t that difficult. In fact, we are blissfully easy to understand. The only reason why it seems like we’re difficult is because you’ve piled your mind with stereotypes you feel best describes all women. But that’s impossible, there’s literally millions (or billions) of us. Some guys raise up their shoulders claiming they’ve cracked the code to understanding women, but it’s just another guide to stereotypes. And if you plan on getting emotionally involved with a woman, well honey, it won’t work with a great big wall in your face. And to be honest, that big strong macho man with so much cash in his wallet and a D the size of mount Rushmore still gets dumped from time to time. So, here are some stereotypes that you need to destroy if you want to have long, healthy, and let’s be honest, great sexual relationships with women.

1. Ladies don’t want responsibilities, so you have to handle everything yourself.
The damsel in distress has finally learned how to save herself and stop crying for help for the slightest things. Today’s woman isn’t looking for a knight in shining armor. In fact, we are our own knights. So, coming into a woman’s life with the idea that you’re going to fix it is just overdoing it. Think about it like a neighbor who constantly tries to ‘help’ even when you didn’t ask for it. After a while, you might just snap and scream “I don’t need your help, Bob!”

Women can handle the responsibilities of their own lives and no, they are not looking for your constant help in other to function. Dating has become too much of that. Dating should be seen as a partnership; you have your roles and she has hers. You both know what you need to do to function and you can’t meet up she’s there for you and vise-Versa. Adopting this approach for your relationships is a great way to start. If you want a relationship where it feels like you’re carrying the entire thing by yourself and if you slip up you could lose everything, then, go ahead look for a damsel. But meaningful, long term relationships take two partners working to make things work. Two partners that understand that the path to happiness is the effort of two people pushing hard to make it through.

Learning how to trust in your partner as well as yourself is an unspeakable gift that can’t be compared. She’s here for you as you’re here for her. She doesn’t need you tying her shoelaces because she fears she might break her nail if she tried. Don’t try to even play this off as being a gentleman or romantic, there’s a difference. Being a gentleman doesn’t mean every woman you encounter is frail and in need of your help. By definition, a gentleman is any man of good and courteous conduct. He is basically a good, polite, respectful and considerate person. And no, that’s not Mr. save the day. He’s Mr. I’m here but only if you need me to be. You don’t have to be James Bond to do that. You’re both going to guide each other through something unfamiliar but don’t worry, she’s got you. So don’t ruin what has the potential to become a great relationship because of what you feel is your right or responsibility.

An exaggerated sense of entitlement would cause nothing but pain and separation. She is going to help but don’t feel you’re entitled to it. Because that’s not fair to anyone, if the roles were reversed you wouldn’t want her making some self-entitled demands on what she felt she deserved from the relationship. Nobody wants a nag just nagging over their shoulder about everything they can’t have and you must provide. So, take the time to understand and reciprocate.

2. It’s all about money
Not all women want your money. it’s painfully irritating when men just assume every woman that they meet is more or less a gold digger. The truth is with a mindset like that, you’ll probably attract nothing but gold diggers. The world has become more materialistic, especially with the rise of the Internet and social media. But the saying ‘a diamond in the rough’ can still be applied. There are many wonderful, smart women who aren’t gold diggers and just want to find love in life.

Just as you’re lonely and wanting of a female companion to navigate this chaotic world, there’s a lady somewhere who wants the same thing. It’s a matter of chemistry, love, and understanding. You can’t come with a wall built up around you and expect her to figure out how to breach your unscalable wall. That’s not fair, or necessary. If you’re not ready for a relationship, then don’t place yourself in a position for it. Don’t ask for her number, a date or something else like that. She’s fine without your company the cause of her headaches and sleepless nights. Gold-diggers exists and it’s unfortunate but it doesn’t mean that’s how every woman is. Millions of women all over the world cannot all want your money. Even if you are Jeff Bezos, you’ll still have to put your guard down in other to have something meaningful with someone else. Otherwise, stay in your island of loneliness and let another man be with your dream woman. In truth, you’ll be the one with a pained heart. The worst part is that you’re gambling with the unknown and so you can’t really know until you try. Perhaps you’ve met a gold digger or even two, it doesn’t mean every woman after that is the same as that. 

I won’t disregard that there are a lot of women out there who seek for men like money bags. Usually, women like that are shallow and lazy, they’re seeking something that they don’t want to work for but to enjoy. Granted there are some women who simply want a comfortable married life and so hold a certain standard that they want from any man that they decide to be true to. The difference between these two types of people is that one is willing to contribute and build the relationship. The other, however, would leave the instant the money well dry up. So, I’ll advise you to be smart but still open to the experiences of the unknown. There are some red flags that could help you find the wolf in sheep’s clothing. Like for example,

·     She always wants you to buy something for her.

·     She has this air of privilege.

·     She asks a lot of questions about your finances.

·     She’s very demanding

·     Grand purchases are rewarded with sex

These are some red flags that you should look out for when going on a date with a lady.

3. You have to be physically perfect
We all know the popular saying that ladies love the tall, jock with the physically perfect figure and a face that would have inspired Michelangelo. Although an attractive man is eye-catching and would probably catch our attention first. But if he can’t sustain a conversation then it’s a shame. The truth is that real ladies don’t scope a man based on his physical appearance alone because even the most handsome man on the earth still has an ex that can’t stand him. Nobody is above being dumped. So don’t just jump into believing she’ll never accept you and then block of something that had the potential of becoming something special.

The simple truth is that it’s never a simple black and white when it comes to people and their varying personalities. Some people are more likely to forego everything else for the sake of a handsome face but then that just it. You can’t have everyone on your side, there are some people who won’t want you regardless of your size or height. It’s simply how it is. If you believe every woman on this earth owes you that attention or should want to be with you then you’re setting yourself up for failure. You’re not the god of beauty and so not every woman would want to date you. But there is always that one person who would.

Besides, think of it the other way around, the girl with the voluptuous breast and long legs would most likely catch your attention. Regardless, you might still want to date a girl that might be a complete opposite of the one you initially liked.

But you probably saw something in her that you really can’t explain. It’s simply because you connected to her, isn’t it? That’s how women are too. It’s not a matter of who or what he looks like. It’s a matter of feel and emotion. So before you intimidate yourself, believing in all sorts of things that’ll discourage to on actually making a move on her, ask yourself ‘what do I have to lose?” The truth is that most times it’s all in your head and you need to find a way to push through that and see where the relationship leads. If it doesn’t take you anywhere, well that’s a different case. If you’re hoping she makes the move well you might end up waiting for a long while. Understanding a woman isn’t rocket science, you just have to be willing to guide yourself through the pathways of your insecurities and fear so you could have something substantial. If she’s worth it, you’ll be glad you did if just to unburden your chest. 

4. Ladies don’t like sex or care about it
Let me laugh about this for a few seconds… done. Honestly, I can’t image or understand where this absolute myth came from. In fact, I found myself even more confused by it than other myths I’ve heard. The idea that only men want sex but women don’t is absolutely ridiculous. Women love sex as much as men, if not more than you. Yet, this is one of the more common myths, that will not guide you toward the path of understanding women.

I imagine this came up from the mind of a father of six whose exhausted wife after having to raise said six was too drained to respond sexually. The man, after several failed attempts to rouse his wife’s sexual interest or appetite probably felt it was woman nature. So, he went about spreading his new found revelation with his friends. He became the tour guide to the world of the imaginary. Explaining theories that he understood nothing about but the theories took flight. Soon, almost every man believed that women didn’t care much about sex and that was it. While the women unfortunately didn’t understand what was going on in their homes. The got less attention and yet men still had mistresses.

Where in reality, those men just didn’t understand women. In a post by Times magazine, they stated that women in their thirties and forties are more sexually active than younger women. This myth that women are less eager towards sex creates a very irritating bias that would affect your relationships. Women love sex (at least a large percent of us do), it’s enjoyable and really who doesn’t want to enjoy. Sexual pleasure is intense and passionate. When done right it’ll make a woman feel indescribable things.

So, why on earth would we give that up. You being alive to read this right now means someone did it. And it’s not so hard to imagine that someone was a woman who enjoyed doing it. Some men use this myth in other to justify why they are lazy in bed. They wear it like an armor whenever they come after three seconds of being in a woman. While others use it to justify their selfish love making only ensuring their satisfaction while the woman lays there and wonder. I once heard a girl say she had to hide her yawn while having sex. It was just so boring. If you feel a woman’s body is complicated then take your time to understand it. Let her moans be your guide and try to do more of what makes her squirm and scream from pleasure.

Just taking a laid-back approach toward it because you feel that she’ll not know the difference is very stupid. Most women love sex. I can’t even recall ever meeting a woman that wasn’t enthusiastic about trying out new sexual tricks with her partner. There are a few reasons why a woman might not be interested in sex and it barely has anything to do with libido. This is why believing in ridiculous stereotypes would only ruin you chances at a happier relationship.

5. Women don’t like being approached
Catcalling is not a way of approach. So there, don’t ever do. The thing is that most women love the attention of being approached. It’s exciting how much time and attention someone is willing to give us in other to be with us. It’s like having a special spotlight on you whenever he’s around. Who doesn’t enjoy warm, loving arms around them whispering sweet words to them? It makes us smile, laugh and just feel special. Now the reason why we are jaded is because men have now turned this into a game where they’ll try to win your heart to dumb you later. They’ve coined the art of making a woman feel special just so they can let her down and hurt her afterwards. Nobody wants to feel discarded or abandoned after they’ve started up with something they figured or held as special. So, this is why it feels like we don’t like being approached initially but if you can make a creative approach toward wooing her then you might be surprised. If she’s truly open to being in a relationship then she will respond positively.

Women love attention and so if a woman is open to a relationship but still doesn’t respond positively then it’s might as a result of some certain reasons.

• You were boring: Don’t take this the wrong way, you might be a perfectly decent and fun guy but your manner of approach might be what needed fine tuning. You have to learn to be a bit more creative so that you could redesign it a bit. Be a little spontaneous, try making her laugh. I know it’s not easy but nothing good comes easy.
• She had someone else in mind: Maybe she’s interested in someone right now so she was not open to meeting someone new today. You have to understand. Her life wasn’t kept on pause before you came. You discovering she existed and you making an approach to win her over are all happy coincidences. But she might be involved with someone else right now. If you don’t want to get into an it’s complicated’ situation then just back off.
• She didn’t like the look of you: I hate to have to write this but maybe you’re not her type. Before you start getting self-righteous just think about it. You can’t be everyone’s type, that’s not possible. Some people would vibe with you but others won’t. it’s just how things are. So don’t beat yourself about it too much.

Well, that’s my step by step guide for getting to understand women. It’s not complicated if you’re willing to put in the time on learning and hopefully, you’ll be able to develop something meaningful. It’s not that complicated all you need is just a little patience and that’s it.