There are many reasons to end a relationship, but sometimes it’s a little harder to decipher them. Aside from the obvious reasons like physical abuse, it is often difficult to guarantee if it’s the wisest time to call it quits. Most people go on being unhappy for a very long time, holding on to the hope that eventually they’ll be happy again in their relationship. Situations like that often come with both partners feeling tired and bored with each other but somehow still unable to depart from one another. 

This is where toxic relationships form. Most couples cling on to one another with no hope of growing the relationship into something more but just so they don’t have to be alone.

A relationship is never supposed to be like that and if it turns out to be like that then perhaps it’s wise considering when to call it quits. Love is not supposed to be a gamble of little options. If the magic is gone, there’s little more to do to change that.

Some people draw the line on their relationship too early, others call it quits too late. When the relationship breaks apart, they end up feeling free but remorseful that it took so long.

Most people let their relationships stretch out until all they seem to have is fallout after fallout with their partners. If you’ve broken up with your boyfriend more than once then you should know there’s a problem that needs to be addressed.

If talking about it and forgiving past transgression isn’t making the relationship any better then perhaps it’s time to call it quits. Not every relationship is going to work out and the sooner you recognize if perhaps this is one of those, the better for you.

Here are eight signs that it’s time to call it quits.

1. You don’t want to spend time with him.

Personal time with the one you claim to love is one of the fundamental indicators that you love them. When you come home after a long day of work there should be a smile on your face because you’re going to be with the ones you love after a stressful day. Most people tend to use that as a motivator for the day, smiling to themselves as they think of their home and the special someone there just waiting for them.

But if that’s not the case for you, then that’s already a sharp sign. If the thought of coming home feels more like a chore than an actual relaxing experience then that’s a really bad sign. And perhaps it’s time to wave the white flag and call it quits.

Sad relationships are very easy to spot with some focus and observation. Some people feel restless at the thought of coming home. Looking for one reason or the other to avoid seeing the person they claim to love. Some people have sleepless nights, after deciding to stay in a relationship. They’ll be plagued with the hurtful words they had shared with their partners in the argument they had earlier.

These things compile together to make them depressed and downcast at the thought of seeing their partner again. Must I go they think, couldn’t I find an excuse to not see him? If this is how you feel when you think about seeing him or being with him then for the sake of you both just call it quits.

2. You don’t compliment each other.

If you can look at your partner and not see one thing you particularly like or favor about that person then perhaps it is time to call it quits. Most people wake up with wide smiles and an internal joy and relief whenever they wake up next to their partners. They feel lucky to have someone like that to call their own.

They fixate on everything about that person. Telling themselves that they can never let him go. Even when the relationship becomes difficult and they have conflicts and fights, they still manage to trust and admire each other. If you’ve woken up next to your boyfriend and felt drained and sad then call it quits right there. Nothing is meant to make you depressed or frustrated immediately you wake up in the morning and if that’s how you feel then it’s not just worth it.

Some people like to pretend that everything is okay. They’ll tell you to fake it till you make it. But no matter how many times you tell yourself that you’re happy there’s a small voice that screaming that you’re not. Your happiness should be paramount in any relationship you enter in your life. A relationship is meant to feel like a support system and not a parasitic. Draining life and happiness from you.

If you feel constantly sad, depressed and lonely then there’s no need to keep holding on to this, call it quits now and save yourself the agony. No, you’re not going to lose on anything because you did your best to make you happy. You gave up something that wasn’t giving you joy and went for happiness. That’s not cowardice, it’s wisdom to choose a smile instead of long silent tears.

3. Your friends have been saying it.

it’s easy to ignore something and act like everything is fine even when it's not. It’s hard, in fact very difficult to confront whatever it is that’s making you unhappy. Some people require extra support and there’s no shame in that.

Friends, true friends are usually the first to notice when something is off with you. It is simply because they care for you and so when you’re unhappy they are the first to know. And because they sense that you’re unhappy they’ll most likely ask you what the matter was. If a group of your friends has been asking you at different intervals if you’re okay. Then perhaps it’s time to look into it. Don’t just brush it off and say that you’re okay. Ink about why they would think that you’re not and try to understand it.

Are you really happy? Or are you just trying to fake it? If you’re faking it just remember that you can’t do that forever. It is simply impossible. You’ll waste your life lying to yourself and your partner and no one deserves that.

Faking happiness is not the same as being truly happy. When you’re unhappy in a relationship it doesn’t just affect you as a person but it shows itself in the way you work, and present yourself. Even when you don’t notice it others do and they’ll most likely be worried if they care about you.

If you feel less enthusiastic about your relationship, day by day then perhaps you should just call it quits and save yourself the constant strain and pain. Trust me, you’ll be a lot more relieved afterward.

4. You aren’t sensitive to their emotions.

Emotions are tricky things and when you feel emotionally connected to someone you tend to share much of their pain and struggles. If they’re hurt or upset, it might leave you with several sleepless nights. And these apply to most types of relationships. There’s a certain level of care that you show to a person you love. It’s instinctive.

You’ll put a smile on your face when they are near. And you frown and bored when they are upset or not forthcoming of their troubles or worries. When you don’t love someone however there’s a level of indifference that comes with their complaints or troubles. You are less sympathetic to their worries and problems. This usually portrays itself in the way you treat them and their worries. When you start feeling this way toward your partner then the relationship is already on the rocks. To call it quits might be the best option so that both of you can maintain something resembling a friendship.

The longer you strain yourself, holding on to a relationship that you genuinely do not feel connected to, the worse it becomes. Until you feel almost irritated by his touch. You don’t want to be by him or see him as anything. This is a dangerous place to be because it borders the lines of hate and what’s the point. Why be with someone you almost hate just to save face or from fear of loneliness. It’s worse than both combined.

Call it quits before it gets worse and by worse, I mean abusive. Both verbally and physically and no one deserves that.

5. You don’t want to have sex anymore.

if it’s starting to get a little dryer down there whenever he kisses you then please save the poor guy the embarrassment and end it. Sex is like a fire, it gets hotter and hotter the closer you get to it. It’s passionate and crazy but in a good way and so very satisfying. It’s the polar opposite to boring because there are so many ways to do it. Sex has no rules and that makes it as wild as you can imagine and as intense as it can be.

With all that said, if you feel like sighing or rolling your eyes every time your partner wants to initiate sex then perhaps there’s something not right about the relationship. Aside from being Asexual or disgusted by sex, there’s little reason not to engage in sexual activities with your partner.

Especially when the said partner has been engaging in sexual activities with you before. If the mere idea of him touching you is now starting to make you cringe then perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship.

6. You don’t care about your looks anymore.

Ever had a crush? Imagine how excited you felt when you were around him. How breathless you would seem and how much time you’d take to make yourself look your best for him. Nothing was overkill, your hair, nails, clothes, etc had to be perfect because you wanted him to notice you. You wanted to put your best foot forward and show forth your inner goddess in hopes that he’ll see and in doing so. He would come for you.

These are the fantasies that follow you into the relationship. You want to look your very best for your boyfriend. Your beauty much shines and he must know how lucky he is to have you. The inner need to impress comes forth and the attention is great, isn’t it?

Now if you’re at that point where you don’t even feel like brushing your hair or changing your clothes when he’s near then it could be a bad sign.  If you find yourself caring less and less when he’s around you then it might be time to consider why.

No relationship stays happy forever. However, it is necessary that they keep a healthy spark alive. When you’re with your partner regardless of the age of the relationship, it important to sustain an air of mystery and chemistry. If you feel numb or indifferent when he’s present then that might be a bad sign.

7. You fight…a lot.

It feels like all you both do these days is fight. Like there’s nothing that you both can say or do that won’t make the other angry. This is a dangerous path to follow as it put you both in tricky situations.

The relationship would start feeling more like a prison and less like a love affair. You’ll feel tense and constantly tiptoeing around topics that you feel uncomfortable discussing so as not to start an argument. Relationships like this feel tiring and uncomfortable for the people involved. Which isn’t how it’s meant to be. If it’s a chore to be with the person you say you love then call it quits.

That’s a toxic space, where no one is happy. What are you holding on for? What are you scared of losing in a relationship that’s already lost. These types of things won’t go well for you or him and it would be better to let it end amicably.

8. You develop low self-esteem.

In a relationship where you’re both strained and there’s little chemistry, it’s easy to feel like it’s your fault. The voice of insecurity starts whispering in your ear and making you feel like you failed your relationship.

That voice is a lie. Unnecessarily blaming yourself for the failure of a relationship you couldn’t sustain is wrong. You deciding to call it quits is because you choose happiness over long-suffering. And a relationship isn’t a solo act, you both tried and it didn’t work out and that’s fine. It happens. If you start feeling like it was your fault because you weren’t pretty enough or you didn’t do that thing he like then you’ll dig a very steep hole for yourself. One that’s you’ll have a very hard time digging out of.

Give yourself time and forgive yourself for the failures of a relationship. It wasn’t about your looks or willingness, it was a lot of other things that didn’t involve you alone.

Relationships are a gamble and sometimes you get to win and other times you don’t. it’s no use beating yourself or feeling like you’re worthless.

So that’s the top signs that you need to call it quits in that relationship.

In effect, it is very important that you take the necessary time to fact-check your relationship to be sure things are still near consistent. Of course nothing is constant, yet a regular check will help you track things that are no longer a pull for you in the relationship, or there are new traits or attitudes that are inconsistent with you, then it is may be time to rethink your position and the value of the relationship. It is bad to have to live a false live, much worse to live the lie.