Easy said than done I hear right? Well, nothing is easy when it comes to relationships. Yet, relationship is basic when it comes to living and surviving. Meeting the seemingly right person has its magic on our body that, if we don’t channel our text interaction the right way, we will see her slipping out of our reach just like that.
I have seen my brother and male friends have their share of messing things up when they text a girl they just met, but really like. This is why this article is important. I want to help you see a girl from her perspective and maximally maximize the opportunity after getting her number and after your first encounter.
How to text a girl you just met
You think, she is probably the woman of your dreams, you are dying to text her, call her, claim her and make her yours, but you are also scared. You don’t want to miss this opportunity with her. You know you probably have just this one shot it at. You want to make sure that you don’t come off looking desperate in your pursuit of happiness, through your text messages. Your mind is running a mile a minute because you don’t want to screw up your chances with her. Don’t get more stressed, this article commits to helping you do it the right way this time.
Here’s how to text her the right way
1. Keep your encounter positive
Keep your interactions positive at all times. Don’t focus your all your energy on getting phone numbers, hereby spoiling the good moment. Keep your encounter positive. Your job is to bring her up not hauling her down!
Focus on having a genuine encounter with a girl. That way, when it comes to texting her, you’re not wasting your time, and you’re enjoying the experience. If you make a habit of smiling when you text her, you’ll naturally inject positivity into your texts.
If your day sucked, don’t go heaping them on her. Even if your day did truly suck there’s always got to be at least one highlight you can pick out from your whole day. It’s never worth texting a girl when you’re in a negative mood.
2. Get the number during the peak of the conversation
The best time to get her number, is at the height of the conversation, when you two are enjoying the discussion. If there was no conversation, only an encounter, the best time will be, the time you succeeded in putting a smile on her face or making her lighten up a bit. The peak of your encounter is when she’s feeling most connected to you and interested in seeing you again. Don’t wait till the end, because you may not be able to determine, how the end will be.
3. Text her the day you meet
Sending her a quick text after you have asked for her number, allows her to save your meeting and your number at least. Unless, you want to be another random number on her phone. I am sure, you would not want to text her after a few days and have her asking you “who is this?’. It can totally make the conversation awkward because you begin to doubt yourself and your interaction.
Waiting to text her a few days, doesn’t build anticipation in her, if that is what you want to achieve; it will only come across to her like you are not interested in her. There is a fine line between being casually distant and falling off the radar. Waiting a few days to text a girl after you had a great conversation, kills the vibe. Text her today to keep the vibe alive, you have no idea who else has eyes on her. You can give her an hour or two, but after that, text her, that’s why she gave you her number.
The guys who get what they want are the ones who make a move. Make the move.
4. Avoid late-night texts (unless welcomed or expected)
If you’re going to text her, don’t do it at night. If you want her to take you seriously, avoid texting late nights. It is a rule, that anything after 9pm, it’s a booty call. Even if that may not be your intention, but you will have a hard time, explaining that to her. If you really like her, show respect. Unless of course she specifically mentioned that she likes to get your texts at night. If not, don’t take the chance.
5. Keep your texts short and simple
Keep your text short and simple, add a little humor to make her feel more attracted, relaxed and probably lighten up her stressful day. When you do this, you’re simply letting her know that you’re interested in her and you also want to ensure that she has your number and can also identify you too. And if you succeeded in creating a connection when you first met her, she will be excited to see that you are interested in her and are not messing her around like other guys do.
Don’t go showing off how intelligent you are, or how many books you have read, a few sentences are enough, anything longer than that, and it will just become too much too soon.
6. Be your confident self
Listen, you had the courage to ask her for her number, so the hard part is over. Now, in your text, because you are texting a girl you like, be genuine as if you are messaging a friend. Being your most authentic self will make things much easier for you when you finally meet up in-person. Now, it’s about maintaining the connection until you see her again. Don’t try to act like a cool or sly guy and end up presenting a different version of who are, you will be setting yourself up for a painful experience. When you are your real self, she will enjoy your first date because it will feel like she has known you for a long time.
7. Keep it light-hearted and a bit flirty
You’ll want to keep your messages fairly light-hearted in the initial phase of getting to know her. A lot can be misinterpreted and misunderstood via text message.
If you don’t know her personality very well, then you’ll want to be careful, while using your slang and being humorous. Sometimes humor can be found offensive because people perceive things in a whole different context based on their personal experiences or beliefs. In other words, keep your texts just light. Ask, questions that will keep the conversation coming and going. Doing this, you will probably find a shared interest between you two and from there, you can start building your magnetic bond.
Don’t also go being all formal and miss the point. Yes, girls want good guys, but they also want someone who has some balls, not a scared nice guy who acts like the woman would be doing him a favor by going out with him. They want to know that you’re interested in her, without coming across as though you feel super lucky that she’s given you her phone number.
8. Don’t use disrespectful language
Don’t go looking all stupid and stranded in a bid to sound hilarious and intelligent. You may find it easy to use the word ‘bitch’ on your girlfriends, don’t go calling her bitch in the name of not being serious. If you must joke about anything, choose the non-offending topics to joke about, at least, until you are sure of her personality. As of now, you have no idea what she’s like. So, keep the conversation clean and tasteful.
9. Don’t worry about whether she is into you or not
When it comes to having confidence, sometimes it good to fake it until you make it. If you tend to second guess yourself, it will show up in your conversation with her. Insecurities will kill the thrill of getting to know her. Focus on the conversation at hand, don’t go over thinking the future and miss the present. Make the present as beautiful as you can, and watch the future unfold.
If you’re not very sure where you stand with her, then the best thing you can do is to keep the conversation on a friendship level and see where it takes you. Remove the romance and intimacy factor from your head, switch your focus to having fun and getting to know her. This is the simple way to get the best out of the conversation or friendship. Anything other than this could be a bad idea.
10. Keep it playful and safe
What determines the tone of your text is your last conversation or encounter with her. If you had already created a bond, continue from there and if you are yet to create a bond, start from there too.
But, don’t go acting all alpha -male. Texting is unofficially reserved for light hearted, playful conversation. Be yourself, but be playful, a bit teasing and open minded.
And the most amazing thing about all this, is that, you can get away with saying almost anything, even subtly hinting at your true emotions or intentions without scaring her away.
Don’t start a conversation that will leave you in the friend zone, you can actually start from there, but make an attempt to leave that phase.
By maintaining a light hearted, teasing vibe throughout your texting interactions you won’t come across needy or creepy even when you’re being playfully persistent.
It is all about your delivery.
11. Use your knowledge about her
Sometimes it can be essentially difficult to think of anything interesting to text a girl, especially if you barely know anything about her, but If you had a conversation before, then you have some basic information on her. When texting her, use it!
12. Remember your goal for texting her
The best habit you need to get into is to remember your goal for texting her. This is because as soon as you start over thinking things and forget why you started texting her, everything will start going wrong. You can be friend-zoned all your life.
She will friend zone you, once she opens her phone and see the huge backlog of needy texts from you. That is, if she is a nice-decent girl, who doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. It doesn’t matter how awful a text is. Nothing is that bad.
When you are still thinking on what to text and how to go about it, remind yourself your goal for the pursuit. If you want to be just a friend, a fling or something deeper and sensual.
Keep your goal in mind when talking to her.
13. Give her time to respond
When you text her, give her plenty of time to initiate a response. She may be very busy, after all we all get busy some times. Don’t go fretting and sending bunch of messages. But, if after a whole day, she didn’t respond, try to send another message in two to three days, and if there is zero response from her, on your second and third try, then she may not be interested in getting to know you on a deeper level. Stop texting her.
P/S, don’t build your self esteem or worth on the lack of a response as if you did something wrong. It’s better to text a girl who has mutual interest with you. So move on to a girl who is equally interested in you.
14. Don’t overwhelm her with attention
If she doesn’t text you back, don’t send her another text.
It’s perfectly okay to text a girl once in a while to say hi and see how she’s doing, don’t be among the guys that go overboard and start to overwhelm the girl with constant texts. Every girl wants attention from guys, especially, guys they like, but hearing from the guy all the time, will make all the charm in the attraction to start fading away.
Another point to take home is the fact that, every girl likes to know that the guy who is interested in her is a catch. This is a principle that applies in almost every relationship.
A girl wants to know her guy is the kind of guy that other women would die to have as a boyfriend, but she is the lucky one who has caught him for herself. But, your constant texting, will not get that done. Keep your dignity and sanity and refrain from doing it.
Don’t appear or act needy if she doesn’t respond right away. Don’t appear desperate, when you can actually be a great catch.